Establishing a Ritual
I can’t seem to water my plants correctly. There’s a small garden in the apartment where I live yet it seems to grow with no help of my own. The ones who survived the winter drought caused by my seasonal depression and general absentminded behavior were recently rewarded with repotting and soil zhuzhing as their prize for continuing to flourish without much more than the occasional leftovers of my forgotten nightly water.
This greenhouse that holds my bed has incredible light but some ladies get too crispy in direct sun and need to be shuffled around to discrete corners and shady nooks. This sudoku puzzle of getting all girls in the correct spot is an ongoing challenge and I can’t seem to get to the next level. One is always fainting from exhaustion while others are straining their longest leaves just to get a hint of rays. While walking the aisles of the nursery last week I calculated the money already spent on plants over the years and stunned myself at the inexcusable neglect of the last few months. Thousands of dollars just sitting ideally by watching me walk in and out of the house daily without a glance in their direction.
To follow tradition, Sundays are now the day all the plants are cleansed. Holy water rushed over their roots, racing to the bottom of mismatched dishes beneath them in an attempt to baptize away the resentment of neglect. I know some need less water than once a week and others need more but any attempt at establishing a routine feels like a step in the right direction.
It was a blur of sweat and rags chasing the waterfalls careening down tiered bookcases trying to avoid crinkling the wood or flooding the carpet. I’m sure one of the plants was missed but I couldn’t risk overwatering most of them figuring it out. There was a moment of rest when I took a break to go to the bathroom, only to remember the three larger ones I let have a playdate in the tub were still in there. Much heavier now with saturated dirt, I lifted the tub plants and shimmed them back to their separate locations, clearly upset I pulled them apart and ruined their pool party.
After cleaning the dirt from my shower floor, I went on the patio to watch the sunset, just to realize I have outdoor plants too. The rain has been a lazy co-parent so I tacked on another 20 mins of filling up the most awkwardly shaped vase I could find to lug 8 cups worth of water through a door. There is no exterior protruding nozzle. If I had one of those, there would be a god damn cornucopia outside 3 months of the year and a lot of dead stems for the rest.
There is one fake plant among them all and its continuous perky attitude is a giveaway but it happens to cover the mysterious plastic box on the wall that seems to have no purpose. I’m too afraid to put an actual living thing over it in case they bond and start a fire, which is assuming there are wires in this box and that has yet to be confirmed or denied. For now, they both are filling their roles perfectly by one already established useless object being hidden by a newer equally useless but slightly better-looking object. I never claimed the system was perfect.
Shit We’re Loving: READ
Blaze’s Pick: Mansfield Park by Jane Austen
I just finished one of my favorite Jane Austen novels, Mansfield Park. Her writing still feels as prevalent today as the plot line swirls around the normal idiosyncratic of people and their bizarre social habits that unfortunately have not lessened since she penned them in 1814. The regular adaptations of her work also prove that these novels should remain in the cultural canon, like my recent obsession with Fire Island, the newly released movie by Joel Kim Booster based on Austen’s “Pride and Prejudice”. The drama Austen weaves is so clever you pray it doesn’t happen in your own life but the simple awkwardness described feels gratingly familiar. “Mansfield Park” takes a little bit to sink your teeth into but I highly recommend reading this true throwback.
Show Your Support: Baltimore Safe Haven
Baltimore Safe Haven is exactly what it says: a safe haven for at-risk members of the TLGBQIA community that are in survival mode or are experiencing housing insecurities. As we are all painfully aware with current oppressive legislation coming out left and right, the TLGBQIA community—with specific emphasis on trans folx—is one of the nation’s most threatened by violence, trauma, and homelessness because of their gender identity and sexual orientation. This is where BSH comes in.
We envision a world in which all transgender, lesbian, gay, bisexual, and queer (TLGBQ) people enjoy healthy, self-determined and -sufficient lives, liberated from the stigma, violence, and oppression they have suffered.
Baltimore Safe Haven is Baltimore’s only trans-led drop-in wellness center that directly supports the most vulnerable members of our community while simultaneously challenging the structural barriers they may have to face. BSH provides compassionate harm reduction and upward mobility services, advocacy assistance, and community engagement that is respectful, non-judgmental, and affirmative of individual power and agency. Their programs—some of which are offered 100% free—include community outreach, a drop-in center where we provide HIV testing, harm reduction, PrEP and medical linkage, case management, and linkage to housing services.
In the OTF fashion, we have already donated $50 to BSH's programs. Also BSH's next event—Baltimore Trans Pride march and block party—is happening THIS WEEKEND on June 4th.
Daily Intention:
Today I choose…
To remember to water them next Sunday too.
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