Another day, another new voice. Friends, my cup is just overflowing with love. I’ll be honest, I’m still a little bewildered that anyone wants to be a part of this, but I also couldn’t be happier. Our new voice today is another dear friend of mine, Noelani. Actually, Blaze, Noelani, and I were all English Lit undergraduates at the University of San Francisco. These bright women helped me cultivate my own portfolio and writing style—we traversed Shakespeare together, writing our theses together, and that one time Blaze and I edited an award-winning essay that was one hundred percent not good enough for that award. I’m the writer, reader, and thinker I am today because of USF, Dr. Shakespeare, and these ladies. So welcome, Noelani! I’m so thrilled I convinced you to be here.
Feeling inspired and want to try your hand at writing with us? Please reach out to any of us! There are a huge amount of ways to reach me, but also chat with the friend that brought you here. We are creating a community here of different voices, different worlds, different lives, all coming together to be a collective force of her experience. We’d love to have you! Stay tuned for more new voices this week!
by Noelani Piters
At eight or nine years old, I’m obsessed with my Nintendo 64. Specifically, I’m obsessed with a game I rent frequently from the local video store called Snowboard Kids 2. One of the characters, arguably the coolest-looking girl out of the bunch, is named Linda. She has chestnut pigtails, a beak-like nose and pixelated brown eyes. While I don’t resemble her in any way, shape, or form, she is the character I admire most. Her stylish red tracksuit, bulbous gloves, and chunky yellow snow boots are, for lack of better words, a vibe. And because Linda seems to represent everything I feel I am not—an attractive, athletic, popular girl who does nothing all day but hang out with the boys and ooze self-confidence—I decide to take something from her.
“I want to change my name to Linda,” I whine to my mom. “It’s so much better than Noe.”
The answer, of course, is no.
The resolution to change my name doesn’t last long. I write out Linda Piters a couple of times on a sheet of lined paper and dot both i’s with hearts. Ultimately, it doesn’t look or feel right. Seeing “Linda” coupled with my last name feels like I’m trying to assume a long-lost relative’s identity.
I know now it was an effort to disappear.
I have always been aware of my name’s otherness. When I am anywhere other than Hawai’i, Noelani (translation: Mist of Heaven or Heavenly Mist) is a built-in conversation starter that nobody can pronounce and everybody wants to know about. Strangers don’t ask Ashleys and Jennifers about their ethnic origins based on first name alone. Despite The Linda Incident, though, I have always felt my name suits me. My name is both pride and embarrassment. I am proud of being me. I am proud of being Hawaiian. I am embarrassed by the cultural curiosity. I am embarrassed by being singled out for it.
Or at least, I was. As a shy only child, I reveled in my individuality but despised attention. All questions from adults felt invasive. So did the looks that lingered when I felt I hadn’t answered them properly. What were they expecting? What did they want from me? I wanted to live without confronting the idea of how people perceived me. If I didn’t answer questions, then they couldn’t make any assumptions about me, leading to more awkwardness. Without questions, without answers, I could blend in and exist without having to explain myself away. It didn’t matter if the queries were about my name or heritage, my likes or dislikes. I didn’t want to be bothered with any of it, and I didn’t want to be misinterpreted. Silence was preferable.
Silence is still preferable, but I am no longer embarrassed by my name. I have always gone by Noe, and when I introduce myself I do so without the lilt of the Hawaiian language—“It’s like Zoe, but with an N.” It’s something I internalized during childhood and, to be honest, is less complicated for everyone. Only when I return to the islands do I hear my full name float from the mouths of family members with ease. It is a precious thing that I entrust to them. It lets me know I am home.
Shit We’re Loving: WATCH
Noelani’s Pick: Civilizations on Amazon
If you’re looking for a crash course in art history that goes beyond the scope of the Western perspective, Civilizations is must-see TV. Each episode of this nine-part series focuses on a theme or concept — from the representation of the body to religion — then delves into how different cultures and civilizations throughout history have interpreted and rendered it. Though it’s about to leave Amazon Prime, it’s well worth your money (and much cheaper than an art history degree). But really, you can’t beat the dramatic delivery of Simon Schama, who pops into almost every episode to share his scholarly insights. (See also: Simon Schama’s Power of Art. I love the one on Caravaggio.)
Show Your Support: Planned Parenthood
It’s Women’s History Month so we had to go with the OG women’s rights organization: Planned Parenthood. We imagine some of you know how brilliant Planned Parenthood is, but here are some must-know facts for those less familiar. PP was founded on the revolutionary idea that women should have the information and care they need to live strong, healthy lives and fulfill their dreams. Revolutionary, indeed. Today, they are a trusted health care provider, an informed educator, a passionate advocate, and a global partner helping similar organizations around the world.
Planned Parenthood is America’s most trusted provider of reproductive health care.
They are also so much more than abortions. The majority of their work is preventative care! These health centers provide a wide range of safe, reliable health care that includes preventing unintended pregnancies through contraception, testing for and treating sexually transmitted infections, and screening for cervical and other cancers.
Hey, PP? We love ya and we stand with you. We have donated $100 (including the items purchased for the giveaway) and encourage you to check out their site and what you can do to help spread sex awareness.
Daily Intention
Today I will…
Celebrate a part of me I used to despise.
Here’s some nifty buttons for you to press, enjoy: