Shelby here—Everyone please welcome yet another New Voice for OTF! Meet Brittani, a friend and old coworker here in Columbus. When I got hired onto Lush, Brittani was already a Floor Leader and Lizzy was a Sales Ambassador (that was the dream team tbh). As I’m sure you’re all aware in the case of me, for the most part, Lush employees are rad people, but I was hesitant about Brittani for one reason when we met: She was pregnant. I had to double-check with a different coworker (Hi, other Liz!) because I, a known child-hater, did not want to (immediately) offend someone I was to work with. Naturally, as we continued to work together—and as she got more and more pregnant—I learned she wasn’t dumb for being pregnant—she was brave. She is brave.
I didn’t get wanting children before I met Brittani and, at the moment, I still don’t really get it but if there is a single person on this planet to raise children who will change the world, it is Brittani. As only the second writer here who has children (shoutout to Maggie who also worked at Lush!), I am eager to have this different perspective on our team. As my friend, I am even more eager to share this journey. Brittani, I am so incredibly honored that you’re here, taking the time to use your voice with us. You’re a beautiful person with an even more beautiful soul. Caring, funny, gorgeous, and the best doesn’t even begin to come close. Thank you for joining us. 💖
Pop Divas Week? It’s only fitting that I join the team and choose a new to the game face. But first, hi. I’m Brittani! And a little about me, I’m a chronic bailer (sorry friends), show binger (ummm anyone wanna talk about Clickbait?!), stuck in the late nineties, Jake Gyllenhaal obsessed, lover of Halloween, postpartum and trauma-informed doula, pop culture connoisseur, cat mom (hi Salem, Casper, and Binx) and mama to Winry and Ambrose. Now that I’ve tried to shove myself into an itty bitty box, know that there is much more to me and it’s nice to meet ya!
Now, on to the serendipity of my life trajectory in route with Halsey’s. You know, minus the money and fame. Before Halsey, I was, of course, a die-hard Stan of Taylor, Britney, JoJo, Hilary, Kesha, Pink, and on and on. But in 2014 an app came out that I cannot remember the name of to save my life. Regardless, in came Halsey’s Room 93 EP. At the time, I was 19, living with my 24-year-old narcissistic boyfriend in a small—like so sadly small a window air conditioner was used to cool the entire place—apartment. I remember laying in bed, very much alone, and coming across the song “Is There Somewhere.” Then I was getting out of bed and swaying in the candlelight, daydreaming about the boy that I was actually in love with—spoiler. He wasn’t it for me either. But, we tried after I broke it off with Jake. It was beautiful, dangerous, and fast-burning. I think of him and his beautiful life, fondly.
Enter 2015, Badlands and Zach came along at the same time. Lovers lost, lovers found, being reintroduced into the world. Finding my power as a woman. I got lyrics from “Gasoline” tattooed on my arm “I think there’s a flaw in my code.” I feel as though that lyric completely explains itself but, I always find myself having to explain that I always felt like an outsider. Watching the cookie-cutter life from a whimsical window. Why do I seem so different from everyone else? Why can’t I just go to school, get a degree and join the workforce? It’s not in my makeup.
hopeless fountain kingdom was so complex, seeing as Halsey as a songwriter, I can only assume she writes what she knows. I can’t tell you how many times I listened to Sorry and 100 letters. Grieving the past, whilst enjoying my beautiful new life. Again. Complex.
Manic—Mmm… This album was a little bit triggering for me, as far as my past goes again. Wow, the damage an ex can do. I absolutely loved “929,” breaking down the idealization of your idols. Remembering they are people. We decide who they are. Perception is reality. Taking me to places I thought I wanted to go. This is also during the birth of my first baby. My girl. My best friend. Part loss of who I was before becoming a mom. “Finally // beautiful stranger.”
And now, Halsey and myself having baby boys a week apart. Ender and Ambrose. A whole album about Motherhood. Wrapping up in a pretty little bow just how I got to where I am and how strong I have grown to be.
Shit We’re Loving: EXPERIENCE
Shelby’s Pick: Our Trust Fund Girls Weekend
Sorry Lizzy (and Brittani and Maggie and maybe one day Addison), I’m going to use Lush language for a second: This weekend was cup-filling. For some crazy fucking reason, three incredible women bought plane tickets in this market and flew during this unceasing pandemic to hang out with me in god damn Ohio. I can’t believe you guys did that. We really didn’t have a ton of time—everyone arrived late on Friday night and Aimée and Kayla left early Sunday morning—but we definitely jammed a bunch in.
We started with extremely boozy Pina Coladas a la Sydney at my house—I have no idea what I’m going to do with the rest of that Malibu… Lizzy popped over and we all got to meet and be together for the first time! Then, Saturday morning, we met at The Pearl for brunch, had some mimosas (duh) before going to the famous Columbus Zoo. Sydney and I fed a baby giraffe named Raffi, Sydney cried at just about every exhibit, and Kayla demanded we return to the sand cats before we leave.
Then we grouped back up at my house, grabbed Zack as our DD, and drove downtown where we had early dinner at Dirty Franks hotdogs, then drinks and pizza at Mikey’s Late Night Slice, where a friend of mine and Aimée’s from St. John’s University, who. was passing through town, met up with us. As an even bigger group, we moved on to 16-bit, a barcade, and ordered even more drinks. It was then at this point that instigator Kayla ordered a second round of shots followed by yet another round from fellow instigator Sydney. Somehow Zack got us back to our house, I think there was more wine had (definitely more weed on my part), conversation games about topics I totally don’t remember now, and other wild shit that I can’t even put here. It is safe to say, however, that I was fucked up and subsequently sick all of Sunday. News flash to myself: I am not 21 anymore.
We may not have actually done any writing, but we did what we do best: Get together, talk, share, learn and experience from and with each other. It was magical. It was everything. Thank you. Where to next, ladies? I vote Texas…
Show Your Support: Native Land Digital
We are on stolen land. You and I, right here, right now, are on land that was never ours to take. Yet, many don’t know this. Even less care. But learning—and acknowledging—is half the battle and Native Land Digital aims to have everyone take that first step. Native Land Digital is a free, online tool to learn of the original Indigenous territories in a specific area. The project, which started in 2015 as Native-Land.ca, strives to “create and foster conversations about the history of colonialism, Indigenous ways of knowing, and settler-Indigenous relations, through educational resources” like their comprehensive and interactive map and the Territory Acknowledgement Guide.
Land is sacred and, as Native Land Digital stresses, it is not easy to draw lines that divide land into chunks that delineate who “owns” a different part of it. In reality, land is “not something to be exploited and ‘owned,’ but something to be honored and treasured.” To honor the sacredness of the spaces we’ve built our lives on, the spaces we often take for granted, we acknowledge and extend our hearts to the land’s original owners and to Mother Earth herself, for bearing the weight of humanity.
Shelby and Lizzy acknowledge the Kaskaskia, Myaamia, and Hopewell land they live on. Shelby also acknowledges the Shawandasse Tula people and their land.
Sydney acknowledges the Munseen Lenape and Wappinger land she lives on.
Aimée acknowledges the Merrick land she lives on.
Kayla acknowledges the Kiikaapoi, Jumanos, Wichita, and Tawakoni land she lives on.
Blaze acknowledges the Ramaytush, Ohlone, and Muwekma land she lives on.
Daily Intention:
Today I will…
Totally creep on how gorgeous Brittani and her babies are. I could look at them for hours.
Here’s some nifty buttons for you to press, enjoy: