by Shelby
Most of you probably know that I’m working through my Sexual Education schooling. I’ve only done a few courses and have already learned so freaking much it’s incredible. I am enjoying it so much, being back in the academic and forever learning atmosphere. Some of the facts I’ve learned are horrifying to think that even me, a well-educated person both sexually and academically, had no idea. I’m not going to into every shocking fact about sex and the sexual anatomy because I plan on doing a full piece on it, but I will share one snippet of knowledge: There is no such thing as a vaginal-only orgasm. What this misconception really comes down to is the lack of education on the vulva and ultimately the clitoris, anatomy. The clitoris, that delicious little button, is actually much, much more—truly when considered the tip of the iceberg, they’re correct. The reason there is no such thing as a vaginal-only orgasm—and by this I mean an orgasm from penetration alone and no clitoral stimulation—is because when having penetrative sex vaginally, you are stimulating the clitoris even when you’re not touching the glans (that button) above. The clitoris is fucking massive and is stimulated internally when an object, penis, finger, etc is inserted. I love how our society (and sex ed) has engrained that a vaginal orgasm is optimum, that we should be able to orgasm by our partner’s whatever, when all along this didn’t even make scientific sense—every orgasm is a clitoral orgasm.
Okay, so since we’re talking about orgasms, let’s get to why I’m really here. It’s the middle-ish of November and soon we’ll blink and it’s Thanksgiving and then we’ll blink again and it’s Christmas. I’ve already begun my shopping (the ATF ladies have no idea what’ll hit them) as well as making my own lists to give to Zack and my family. While you’re making your lists this holiday season, think about what you can get for yourself to welcome better, self-centered personhood in the new year. So for today, here’s my shopping list of the best sex toys to snag for yourself, have your partner purchase for you, or even gift to a friend who really needs to get off.
First and foremost is my first and foremost toy: a Lelo bullet. Upon searching for the link and images, I’ve come to learn that Lelo doesn’t even make that toy anymore and I can’t find any of their bullets so it seems like they don’t make those anymore which is upsetting. I bought my first toy, a bullet from the luxury sex toy brand Lelo when I was 18 at a local shop called Lover’s Lane. This toy became my entry point into sex, exploration of my own body, and such necessary relief that is an orgasm. Since I can’t share the exact one I’ve used for nearly a decade (insert shocked emoji), here’s something similar.
The next brand is my go-to these days. You may have heard of Unbound Babe, but if not, get ready to be fucking excited. Unbound is a women-owned and operated online company. All of their toys are relatively inexpensive while still maintaining excellent standards of production and material (medical-grade silicone and generally they’re all waterproof!!). They are minimalist cute and just truly look like the millennial sex toy—cheeky, colorful, simple. I will say that Unbound as a whole leans more on the intense side of things so keep that in mind when looking at any of these (I’ve never had any issue but they can be pretty intense and as someone who is more sensitive, I’m usually hanging out at the lowest setting). I used to get a quarterly subscription box from them, which is how I already have just about all of their products but here are my top faves.
Ollie: Wow, hello. I totally recommend everyone reading the book Buzz: The Stimulating History of the Sex Toy because it covers the OG Hitachi Wand. Originally marketed as a self-massager and quickly became a self-massager the Hitachi Wand is iconic and Unbound has created their own, sleeker and obviously cuter (it doesn’t need to be plugged in to use which is a huge plus) version. This is their most expensive toy at $74.00 which is literally nothing in the sex toy industry. Hot Tip: Use this as an actual back massager, it’s so great.
Bender: I havne’t used this one as much, but the concept and simplicity of it thrills me. Bender is, as you can surmise, bendy! It can bend to create any shape you need to reach those yummy spots (like the G-Spot!). It’s very simple, kinda looks like Gumby, but man does it do what it needs to.
Puff: Allow me to introduce you to your new best friend. I actually preordered Puff the second I received the email of its release because I know this would be a game-changer. You may have seen the new “sucking” craze going around the sex toy industry and it’s for good reason. Instead of vibration in the traditional sense, the soft outer ring, which can be placed on any anatomy (clitoris, nipples, penis, etc) produces a rhythmic sucking sensation that is just outta this world. Since we’re knee-deep in this topic, I’ll just say that when I use Puff, I truly feel like I am levitating. Afterwards, I need to lay dead for a few minutes before I can feel my legs again.
Some other Unbound products I just want to shout out are their kink items like Orion, a handcuff set that also can be used for over-the-door restraint play, along with the gorgeous Nipple and Clip Clamp. So please, everyone, for your own sanity, go check out Unbound Babe.
My final sex recommendation is Chakrubs. I havne’t personally purchased anything from them yet, but Chakrubs is the original crystal sex toy company. To some, this can sound a little too new wave-y but lend me your ears for a moment. I firmly believe that masturbation leads to self-empowerment. You cannot and will not find self-confidence, self-worth, and self-love without masturbating. Now, do you need fancy toys to do so? Hell no, put your hands down your pants right now and go to town. Do fancy toys help? Hell yeah! And what makes Chakrubs unique is they really emphasis the self back into masturbation. Crystals, and subsequently Chakrub products, are designed to help create working intentions and ultimately allow for the opening of oneself to the magical healing properties crystals bring. Regardless of your belief in the magic crystals bring, at the very least there is definitely a placebo effect of really honing into a piece of beauty in nature and connecting that with your body. Chakrubs invites you to sit with yourself, ponder about why you’re masturbating, your mind and body needs to feel satisfied, and truly take time to be with yourself. When I need a quick one-and-done I go to my Puff, but when I need actual alone time to learn more about myself in my own headspace, I’ll turn to Chakrubs. I’m personally really interested in their Yoni Eggs but really everything from them looks amazing.
I hope you found my Ted Talk informative and are ready to explore yourself further.
Shit We’re Loving: EXPERIENCE
Shelby’s Pick: Imperfect Foods
So this Experience isn’t really that exciting unless you like groceries and getting things in the mail. Imperfect Foods is a grocery delivery service that specializes in, well, imperfect looking produce, excess meets, and maybe some poor packaging. Now I’ve tried multiple grocery/meal delivery systems; in New York, I had a Hello Fresh subscription and would frequently order other necessities through Amazon Fresh, both of which I have stopped since moving to Columbus. Hello Fresh was fabulous and I would totally recommend it to everyone who doesn’t have time to shop (or a car to transport groceries) and doesn’t really have time to cook either. Every time I bought from Amazon Fresh my soul died just a smidgen so that ones up to you.
But Imperfect Foods is just fabulous. I get my box every other week and have full control over what goes into it. A few days before it’s supposed to ship, I’m welcomed to pick out my groceries that cover a myriad of grocery departments. I have fish and meat options (I’ve even gotten duck from here, but there’s also been a selection of Wagu burgers and whatnot) and before you get weirded out by potentially “imperfect” meat, what that means in this context is extras. There is too much produced to sell through without wasting, so Imperfect has worked out a deal to sell the excess. They also have grains and pasta and sauces and bread and snacks and sometimes coffee and La Croix. They, of course, have a ton of produce to choose from (organic and non) and while I’ve never gotten anything “bad,” I have received some interesting looking veggies like the spaghetti squash in my picture that is the size of my head—I legit do not know how I’m going to cut through it.
I am working on my consciousness and where/how/what I spend my money on. Groceries are a necessity, but that doesn’t mean I can’t help out, in some way, while shopping. If you’re interested in signing up, check it out here—this link also adds a $10 voucher to your box, so go crazy. (Note: Totally, one-hundred percent not sponsored, I just like sharing the love).
Show Your Support: She’s the First
Our wonderful Aimée got to pick this month’s charity, and this one is totally special. She’s the First is a community founded on the sole belief that every girl, no matter where she is born, deserves to be educated, respected, and heard. She’s the First is made up of advocates and teachers, artists and politicians, resilient mothers and feminist fathers, and of course, the girls.
In everything we do, we put girls' voices at the center of conversations that affect their lives and support communities to drive their own transformation.
Their mission is simple: Create a world where every girl chooses her own future. Why, you may ask? Because in too many places around the world, girls are treated as second to boys. They are denied education, told who and when to marry, and blocked from leadership. Educated and respected girls are the exception, not the norm. Just take a look at these statistics from UNICEF:
In the A Trust Fund fashion, we have already donated $100 to the cause and suggest you do the same. Are you as violated by the new laws and words spoken in Poland against women? We have to start somewhere, and building up and supporting girls now is how we make that change. Go follow, get educated, and donate! Us girls need you.
Daily Intention
Today I will…
Enjoy myself—she’s all I have.
Here’s some nifty buttons for you to press, enjoy: