The Adventures of Cliff and Wy

The couple that steals together doesn't always stay together.

Oct 20, 2021

With spooky season here and Halloween just a few days away, I wanted to lean into the idea of costumes and dress up. Here’s a play about Cliff and Wy, two lovers who live together and steal together. These international spies are just like us! They bicker with their partner and argue about details that only one person cares about. Enjoy Act 1, Scene 1 about the adventures of Cliff and Wy.

CLIFF AND WY

Act 1 Scene 1

INT. / CLIFF AND WY’S APARTMENT / EVENING

Opens on a gorgeous but old money furnished apartment, slightly stuffy. The room is dark with a sliver of light coming in under the doorway from another room. There is loud noises as two people enter the apartment the room is now flooded with light. Wy enters the room, angry and upset, and starts to stomp around turning all the lights on as she enters. She starts taking off her jacket and shoes, just getting home late from an evening out.

I just don’t think it’s very funny.

Cliff enters the room after her, tired, unamused, and deflated.

CLIFF

Okay, what exactly do you not think is funny?

I mean I didn’t say it, I just repeated it! Carl said it!

Wy still visibly upset.

Well why did you repeat it?

CLIFF

Because it was funny!

Exactly, you think it’s funny! And it’s not!

CLIFF

Look just because someone else said that

women can’t be getaway drivers

because it takes them too long to find their keys,

doesn’t mean it’s true.

So you think that women can be getaway drivers?

Cliff looks to the ground.

CLIFF

Of course they could be, you know… if they wanted to.

Wy scrunches up her face.

CLIFF (cont.)

I just don’t see it happen very often is all I’m saying!

What women do you know who’ve been the driver?

That’s not the point!

Let’s do it then, we’ll switch!

You break the windows,

deal with the slobbering dogs,

and climb around the furniture

in the dark this time and I’ll be the driver.

CLIFF

Okay okay, hold on! First of all, we both know

I can’t fit into the outfit.

See, you’re the one who can’t do it, not me!

If I wanted to be the driver, I could!

If you’d let me be the driver,

I’d do better job than you!

CLIFF

Now you’re just getting excited about nothing!

Of course you could do it if you wanted to,

but we both know that’s not what this is about.

You’re just upset that I picked that hitchhiker up last time.

Wy clearly annoyed.

No I’m not. We’re not even

talking about that right now.

Stop changing the subject!

CLIFF

I mean I get why you’d be angry,

she was young and hot with that doe eyed look,

It’s okay that your jealous, I’d be upset too!

But you have nothing to worry about,

you’re the one I want.

Is that supposed to make me feel better?

I don’t care what she looks like or who you want.

Did it ever occur to you that maybe

it’s not a good idea to pick up

a stranger off the street

while we’re in the middle of committing a crime?

CLIFF

See you say that,

but I feel like there’s more to unpack here.

Wy screams in frustration and leaves the room.

Cliff is left alone and looks confused.

WY (shouts from off screen)

Unpack this!

Cliff puts his head in his hands and scoffs.

EXT / CLIFF AND WY’S APARTMENT BALCONY / NEXT MORNING

Wy is sitting outside on their 4th story balcony, a lone cup of coffee on the table. Her eyes are closed as she leans back in the chair, the sun washing over her. She looks blissful but tired.

Cliff walks out and stands in the way of the sun, casting a shadow on her.

CLIFF

I’m going for a run. You should really join me.

What’s that supposed to mean?

CLIFF

It means it’s a nice day and you’d probably enjoy it.

I was enjoying it, until you blocked my sun.

CLIFF

Oh come on, it will be nice to go together.

Wy waits to respond and glares out at the city away from him.

Where do you want to go?

CLIFF

Oh I don’t know, I was thinking about going over to Oceanside.

Wy opens her eyes and sits up in the chair, now excited and surprised.

Oceanside?

CLIFF

Yep.

Really? But what about those new posts on Neighborhood Watch?

That Sarah235 claims she got a pretty good view of us last time.

I thought you wanted to lay low or

least go outside farther the neighborhood next time.

CLIFF

I know but I've been looking at this yellow house for weeks,

haven’t seen anyone in or out,

no cameras, entrance away from the road.

It will be easy. Come on, get your shoes on.

I don’t know about this,

why haven't you mentioned this place before?

CLIFF

I wanted to surprise you!

It’s the perfect spot, you’re gonna love it!

Okay I’ll go for the run, but nothing more than that!

Just some cardio, not imprisonment.

CLIFF

Ya ya, just look at it first and then tell me what you think.

Can we drive instead?

CLIFF

If you can find your keys.

Cliff and Wy go back inside the apartment and leave the patio. Across the street you see an open window with the curtain blowing in the air.

Shit We’re Loving: LISTEN

Blaze’s Pick: Meet Me At Our Spot by THE ANXIETY, Tyler Cole, and Willow

Like everyone else, I’m non-stop listening to the pop punk rock bop Meet Me At Our Spot by THE ANXIETY, Tyler Cole, and Willow. Their live performance, released September 2021, clocks in at 2:26 mins long yet has over 14 million views on Youtube, 128 million streams on Spotify, and it’s all over TikTok. It’s angsty, hostile, hopeful and also catchy as fuck.

My favorite stanza really cements the tone of the song. You can feel her passion and movement around each note as she brings a gritty vocal range to this rock song that lures you into a sexy cityscape from the window of a car zipping down the highway.

When we take a drive (Woo, woo)

Maybe we can hit the 405

Hypnotized by the lights

Man, this must be the life

Familiar themes to bad boys around the world; getting lost in the magic of traffic and the humanistic tendencies of us all, this song also reminds me of a particular notorious bad boy, Mick Jagger. (I Can’t Get No) Satisfaction by the Rolling Stones exudes the same stinkbug attitude said with a smile. When the song was released in 1965, Mick Jagger wrote about finding a way to escape the perils of life while driving, only to have his music on the radio interrupted by a commercial. This ad breaks tries to sell him an imagination but really does the anthesis by interrupting the organic vibe he already created.

When I'm drivin' in my car, and the man come on the radio
He's tellin' me more and more about some useless information
Supposed to fire my imagination

Willow’s interpretation of that main character experience while driving a car down the 405, entranced by the artificial light of brake lights, describes a similar spell. The glamor of the city and the soul of the music has her wearing Alec Baldwin in Friends rose-colored glasses. Phoebe’s right, they aren’t the "”glow with the light of a thousand fairies”, they’re just brake lights!”

When broken down to phrases on paper, the two songs are lyrically simplistic, just famous musicians crooning on about the lure of capitalism. Jagger from an antagonistic frustrated perspective about the infiltration of “the man” affecting his peace of mind and Willow experiencing the grandeur of celebrity from a young age yet still claiming emotional disillusionment of it all. No one is safe. You’re on the outside looking in or on the inside looking out. Neither position is great if you’re riddled with anxiety and subjected to ideas of the state all the time.

While both songs are straight to the point, it’s the unmeasurable untapped vocals each singer brings to these words that carry the songs. Their sounds are unique and powerful, full of vigor and dripping with authenticity. It’s clear that while elementary in vocabulary these singers feel each syllable to the bone. Their infectious personality makes the songs so catchy to listen to. It’s why Satisfaction has been a classic for 50 years and it’s why Meet Me at Our Spot is dominating the airwaves. Overall incredible song and I can’t wait to see what Willow’s next album songs like. I hope she turns up the punk rock vibes and we get to see a continuation and growth from this sound.

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