In our second-to-last—woah—(for now) collab, we reflect on our first-ever blog posts compared to our final solo posts. What did we write about in our first post as compared to our last one? Has our voice changed at all or stayed the same? Did some of us even know that would be their last post? I’ve included an excerpt for each, but do read through the original post to see the writer’s pick for Shit We’re Loving and which organization we were spotlighting that month.
Additionally, it’s just about here, friends, our final collab. Concluding our week-long, series finale is our last collaboration on what we are most proud of from OTF. This collab is for writers (both past and present) and readers to share the things they have gained from being a part of OTF in any capacity. What have you learned about yourself? Your gifts and talents? Needs and wants? What was your favorite part of OTF? Is there anything from our little world here you’re going to continue to do after? There’s also a section to write your final farewell to the OTF community.
BLAZE
First Piece Excerpt + Thoughts:
"I'm quirky like that" and Other Musings from a New Voice (from March 29, 2021)
I’m Blaze, I’m a Virgo, I’m queer, and I live in San Francisco (obviously). I’m so excited to join Our Trust Fund and be another voice shouting into the void. I have a government-issued trust fund (unemployment) and I’m honored to be bringing my perspective to this wonderful newsletter.
The first lesson you learn when poor is that you’re never too good for any job. Since high school I have David Sedarised my way through life, enduring labor for a paycheck and experiences for writing fodder. I’ve been a florist, tennis coach, youth development specialist, store manager, server, communications associate, community organizer, but always an observer. To be fair, I got most of those jobs because I’m very beautiful (see photo above). Don’t worry, I was a chubby kid with a learning disability so I still had the privilege of developing a personality.
I write non-fiction, screenplays, and literary analysis. I write because I despise the male gaze—love the male gays though. I am constantly inspired by the sheer mediocrity of male writers and their unimaginative use of gendered stereotypes. It’s exhausting to consume media that uses femme characters and their bodies as plot points instead of individual identities. The Bechdel test should be the bare minimum, yet it’s rarely even passed. Feminism isn’t writing a female protagonist on a quest for male approval by exhibiting masculine traits while hating herself and other women. Looking at you, Q*****n T*******o. It’s daunting to chip away at the generations of hardened mud covering the beauty of what it means to be female, but let’s give it a try …
The first thing I notice is the effort! I read it over again and think about how many times I wrote and rewrote the jokes and hot takes and it brings me joy that I still chuckle at it today.
The satisfaction of landing the joke is cut by an undercurrent of disappointment when comparing it to my last piece. I wish I could see the same level, if not growth, of care and finesse, put into my last piece compared to the first, but also I wouldn't say it's entirely bad.
I knew I wanted to come out big for my first piece; I wanted to establish a clear voice and writing style to set myself apart from the other voices already publishing with OTF. I wanted to stand out and not feel like I was crowding anyone else’s writing, and I do feel that this essay felt different than what I had been reading. What really stood out was the Shit We're Loving: Read and my long-form poetry analysis of "Porn Carnival" by Rachel Rabbit White. It has me regretting not doing more deep literary analysis pieces for OTF and exercising those skills out more.
There's a lot of blind optimism throughout the whole piece, from Shelby's intro about me and OTF, my own self-reflections, and the unspoked thread behind it all that this project will continue to go on for the foreseeable future, which it did. So it's not wrong, but I wish I was able to keep up the momentum better of this quality of work until the end and not a smattering of good work loosely tied together.
Last Piece Excerpt + Thoughts:
The Loves of Our Lives (from July 5, 2023)
I’ve been thinking a lot about friendships.
How different each relationship can look and how that makes them all the more special, like pebbles on a rocky beach each one calling our attention for a unique purpose.
The friends of friends, work friends, writing friends, the ones we love to share ideas with, the inspirations, the people we no longer keep in touch with, the long-distance friend, the ones who physically live close but logistically we only see every few months at a 3-hour dinner, the small talk friends, the parasocial friends on podcasts and shows who are not actually our friends, the neighborhood acquaintances whose names we don’t know, the friends we miss, and the friends we see with sporadic regularity.
The beautiful thing about friendship is how it brings together people with a similar through line but can lead to such different dynamics. I don’t think any of my friendships look the same as one another but some fit easier. My current relationship blossomed out of a strong friendship, I’ve had friends as my emergency contact before family, there were friends turned coworkers and coworkers turned friends, and most commonly friends turned roommates.
I used to worry that a lot of my relationships were glued together by our shared love of drinking and debauchery but as I / we settle down a bit it’s clearer more than ever that the excess was just a way to connect but the true love lies underneath it…
I believe it's a fine piece that really captures where I am at mentally right now; craving for nostalgia but feeling too far gone in the uncertain future to be comfortable. I wish I closed out OTF with a bang as loud as what I started with; however, I'm not really in an explosive place in my life now. It's calmer, deliberate, and boring, and I do think this piece conveys that sentiment. I don't hate it, but I'm not in love.
KAYLA
First Piece Excerpt + Thoughts:
Kayla’s Trust Fund (from June 9, 2020)
Privilege. It is a word that is frequently heard in today's world, especially in the age of social media. Whether it be white privilege, male privilege, social privilege, the list goes on and on. It most often has a negative connotation associated with it, as practices and ideas that were once considered “acceptable” slowly become outdated and generally rejected by society. As the world becomes more open to different cultures, races, genders, religions, sexual orientations, etc., the powerful rhetoric used globally in the media to demand equality is very apparent.
Even to this day, the first word that comes to mind when I hear “trust fund” is privilege. I mean, one must be pretty privileged to have assets sitting aside for a rainy day, right? If I mentioned to a friend that I had a trust fund, would that be the first thought that came to their mind as well? As someone who did have a trust fund, I still find myself asking these questions. The fact that I grew up with a trust fund is something that I rarely share because regardless of how or why I had a trust fund, it makes no difference to many people. It is just considered another privilege (besides being white) that many others will not ever know. However, as I look back on my life at the ripe old age of 25, I am more cognizant than ever of how the events that led to my trust fund shaped my life.
It is easy to categorize people by their outward façade without ever looking deeper. For me, I grew up in Cypress, TX in an upper middle-class neighborhood with white parents who both had college degrees. My dad worked in finance for an oil company and my mom was a buyer for Neiman Marcus before becoming a stay-at-home mom…
Wow, I simply cannot believe it has been over three years since I wrote this piece. Back when Our Trust Fund was still A Trust Fund. I remember vividly wanting to write as soon as I saw that Aimée was writing for a daily newsletter. Before writing for OTF, I always joked about starting a blog, but was too scared to actually try and start something myself. Imposter syndrome is real, and I never felt that my writing was good enough. However, after reading pieces from Shelby and Aimée, I knew I had a voice and I wanted to contribute. At the time, I figured I would be a guest writer and just do a one-off piece to share my trust fund story. I didn't actually think I would become a regular writer. However, after I wrote my first piece, I couldn't stop!
To this day, my first piece I ever wrote for ATF is one of my favorite pieces. The piece deals with privilege and the desire to be grateful of privilege while also grappling with feelings of loss associated with it. For me, I had to lose my mom to gain my trust fund. The trust fund that paid for the down payment on my home, which I am forever grateful for. However, it meant not having my mom around to take silly photos before prom, see me off to college, and even meet my husband. Remembering my privilege while also knowing that it brought me a lot of pain is something that will always be a part of my story.
Last Piece Excerpt + Thoughts:
Travel Tidbits (from June 7, 2023)
What time is it?...Summer time! Even if you aren’t a teacher, student, or in a profession that allows you a summer break, you can’t deny the warming weather and hours of sunshine waiting for you at the end of a workday. Although I no longer officially have a “summer break”, I still love summer. It means weekends of relaxing at the pool, drinking margaritas, getting frozen custard (IYKYK), my birthday, and traveling! While I definitely do not only travel during summer, I know many people who do. Summer is a great time to get some traveling on the books and to go see some new places with friends, family, or even by yourself!
There is truthfully little that brings me as much joy as traveling… except maybe potatoes. The thought of seeing a new place, meeting new people, eating delicious food, and experiencing cultures that are completely different from my own is a huge draw. I love the little nerves I get right before landing in a new place and seeing how my perception of a foreign country is different from actual reality. Every single county I have been to has taught me something. Growing up, I was lucky to travel often, so I got the travel bug early on in life; however, I know that is not the story for everyone. For instance, Marc grew up on a ranch (yes, a literal ranch with cows and horses) and was never able to travel. When we first started dating and throughout college, he had to learn how to travel and that blossomed into a love much like my own. But, I know it is intimidating. Travel is a privilege. Having the opportunity and means to travel around is something that I don’t take for granted. Travel is expensive, time consuming, and even scary. Instagram influencers make it look easy, but the reality could not be further from that. Before starting this piece, I began thinking about all of the questions people have when they first start looking into travel. Hell, these are questions I still ask myself when I start to plan a trip. I started thinking of common travel questions and how I would answer them if someone asked me about our trips. While I’m no expert, I would consider myself fairly well traveled for 27. So, I wanted to put all these questions out in the open and give some ideas as to how I would answer them when starting a trip…
While this piece is definitely not as deep as my first piece, this is also another that I am proud of! Travel hacking is something that I have recently become more interested in and I wanted to write a piece to share that with our readers! It can be intimidating when you start trying to learn about credit cards, award points, loyalty programs, etc., but just learning the basics is enough to help with a trip! Seeing the world and traveling is something I will forever be passionate about. Hopefully some of my tips will help others start/expand their traveling journey!
AIMÉE
First Piece Excerpt + Thoughts:
“Introductions as ATF Grows!” (from May 11, 2020)
Hey, all you cool cats and kittens!
(Is that still funny?) I’m so excited to be here as a guest contributor to ATF. I guess I’ve kind of always been “a writer,” but it’s been a while since I’ve really been inspired to get my thoughts out there. Subscribing to this very newsletter and reading some of Shelby and Sydney’s posts reignited something in me. What, exactly, did it reignite? I guess we’ll just have to wait and see.
I know Shelby from our days as graduate students at St. John’s University. She doesn’t actually know this (well, I guess now she does), but I kind of had a “friend crush” on her. Maybe I can elaborate on this in a future post, but basically, as soon as I met her in our class on the poetry of Percy Bysshe Shelley, I knew she was someone I really wanted to be friends with. And look at us now! Collaborating on an awesome project of hers while several states apart and trying to survive a global pandemic. It’s heartwarming, really…
So *technically*, my first ever piece was "Introductions as ATF Grows!" in which I wrote a little blurb about myself as I officially joined the OTF (then ATF) team. Upon rereading this little piece today, I was worried it would be unbearably cringey...but it's really not! So much of it still holds true. I'm still really grateful I was able to use this space to share my words; I'm still glad this undertaking brought Shelby back into my life; and I still always want to "pay it forward in any way that I can."
Some things definitely have changed, on the other hand. For one, I no longer really think of myself as having a "well-paying career." My teaching salary certainly went a lot farther when I was renting a one bedroom apartment than it does now that I'm paying a mortgage! I also don't really think that "13-year-old boys are the devil incarnate" (although I don't fully disagree with that statement either). I had a lot of issues with boys I taught that year, and then again in my third year, but now I think I've more or less figured out how to handle them. And finally, lol at me writing "I can’t say that I have a trust fund myself" because I later revealed that was a lie, albeit an unintentional one. Again, it wasn't technically a trust fund, but enough money invested by my grandparents in my name to cover most of the down payment on my house. So nothing to sneeze at. Like I said in this piece, my privilege is something I always try to be aware of, something I'm always grappling with, and something I ultimately try to use for good.
Last Piece Excerpt + Thoughts:
“Teaching Travails: Year Four Is DONE!” (from June 28, 2023)
SUMMERTIME! At last! Which is why (perhaps unbeknownst to our readers) I didn’t end up writing a piece Monday like I was supposed to and am writing one today instead. Thanks again to Shelby for sending out that archive piece on Monday in honor of my first wedding anniversary! I was so caught up with the last two days of school that OTF completely slipped my mind. But today, since I’m not working…well, here I am!
Monday’s piece was supposed to be a retrospective on my first year of marriage, but I think I’ll save that for a joint piece with Kayla in a few weeks instead. (She is the one who started the Marriage Managed series, after all).
Instead, I’ll reflect on my fourth year of teaching. And for once, I’m going to allow myself to pat myself on the back a bit here. I may not always feel appreciated by the powers that be at school OR by the students, but the end of the year is when the truth comes out. I want to share some of the best messages my students wrote for me in my yearbook, along with my thoughts on some of the said messages and students…
My last solo piece was actually published a little while ago, on June 28, and it was "Teaching Travails: Year Four Is DONE!" It's sort of sweet how my first piece talked about how I wanted to use my privilege for good both as a teacher and a writer, and my last piece focused on the privilege it is to work closely with wonderful kids/teens. This final piece was originally supposed to be about my first year of marriage, but I think this topic is more fitting. Mike has more or less been a constant in my life for the past several years. Sure, we've grown a lot together and learned a lot from each other, but for the most part, we provide stability and comfort for each other. It's really my teaching career that has dramatically shaped the person I am over the course of the past five years (counting my time as a student teacher). Like I say in the piece, it's really validating to see the evolution of the compliments and words of appreciation I get from the kids. I always got, "You're the sweetest," "You're so funny," "Thanks for being patient with us," and so on, but now to see/hear them acknowledging that my class is engaging and that I'm not to be messed with feels great. Teaching is certainly full of travails, but it's nice to take time to discuss and remember its rewarding aspects. I will forever appreciate OTF for giving me a space to vent about all the travails and to celebrate the successes as well!
SYDNEY
First Piece Excerpt + Thoughts:
"Connecting With Myself on a Deeper Level" (from April 15, 2020)
How’s everyone doing? Good? Great? Crying into a pint of ice cream? Cool, cool, cool, same.
This whole quarantine thing has taken a massive toll on my mental and emotional health and I don’t think I am the only one. As someone who struggles with anxiety and depression every second of every day, social distancing gives me way too much time and space to think about all the things I perceived as wrong with me or my life. It allows me to dwell on the bad and ignore the good, which I am already an expert at doing.
My absolute favorite thing to dwell on is the fact that at 24 I lost the love of my life. It took me a long time to call him: “love of my life”. How, at now 25, do I know that’s who he was? Well, there’s a really obnoxious adage that says, “when you know you know” and that is, unfortunately, true. Maybe in a future letter, I’ll explain all about how complicated that relationship was, but for now, all you need to know is that I loved and lost. And that is something at the top of my mind every day, especially when I have a lot of time on my hands.
So obviously quarantine has been a perfect storm for me to really wallow in my anxiety and depression and this super sad thing that I experienced. This is why when a friend recommended Ruth Svelmoe read my tarot cards, I kind of jumped at the opportunity. I have only had my cards read at hokey boardwalk readers, but this was the first time I was trusting and believing in someone else’s ability to divine something from me (over facetime).
I scheduled an appointment with Ruth and let me just tell you, it was an emotional rollercoaster…
It was hard to go back and read this piece because it was very emotional and vulnerable. I often reflect on that tarot reading. I think I have become more guarded and closed off since I wrote this piece, so it is hard for me to write exactly how I feel about the emotions, hopes, and dreams I expressed in it.
Last Piece Excerpt + Thoughts:
The Misrepresentation of Women in 90s Media (from May 15, 2023)
The 1990s witnessed an era of significant cultural and technological transformations, yet it remains a period marred by the portrayal of women in the media. Despite considerable strides made towards gender equality, the media of the 90s perpetuated harmful stereotypes and inadequately represented women. From television shows and movies to magazines and advertising, women were often reduced to one-dimensional characters and subjected to objectification, reinforcing damaging societal norms. I wanted to explore how women were poorly portrayed in the media during the 1990s and highlights the subsequent impact on gender perceptions and progress.
One of the notable ways women were misrepresented in the 90s media was through objectification and the male gaze. Television shows such as "Baywatch" and "Melrose Place" emphasized the physical appearance of female characters over their abilities and intelligence. Women were frequently portrayed as sexual objects, with camera angles and costumes designed to cater to the male gaze. This narrow portrayal reinforced the notion that a woman's worth was primarily determined by her physical attributes, perpetuating unrealistic beauty standards and undermining their accomplishments.
Women in the 1990s media were frequently confined to limited roles and stereotypical characters. Female characters were often depicted as secondary to their male counterparts or reduced to simplistic archetypes such as the nurturing mother, seductive temptress, or ditzy sidekick. These stereotypes diminished the complexity and diversity of women's experiences, reinforcing gender roles and hindering societal progress. Female characters with agency and well-rounded personalities were overshadowed by their male counterparts, perpetuating the notion that women were less capable or significant…
Technically my last piece was a reflection on what OTF has meant to me, so I am going to go back to my SECOND to last piece, which was way back in May. I didn't even know it would be my last true piece. It was called "The Misrepresentation of Women in 90s Media," and I was inspired to write it after remembering the book 90s Bitch which I read several years ago. Much like the Barbie movie, this book and my piece talks about the impossible standard for women (especially those in the public eye). It feels especially relevant now more than ever.
SHELBY
First Piece Excerpt + Thoughts:
Fuck, I Got Laid Off (from March 26, 2020)
Fuck, I’m bloated and I just got laid off. Oh, and there’s a global pandemic. Or is it an epidemic? What exactly is the difference? One would think that being the proud holder of not one, but two useless English degrees I would know, but I effectively find ways to skirt around the use of “effect” versus “affect” instead of having to remember which is which (see what I did there?).
Hi, I’m Shelby and this is A Trust Fund; yet another place on the internet to spill my secrets that no one will read. This was a marijuana-induced writing spree at 10:48PM while in bed (suffering from bloating obviously) under a mandatory shelter-in-place ordinance from the state of Ohio. Welcome to 2020, folks, it’s gonna be a bumpy ride. Now, a few days later, I’m actually going through with finishing this piece. You see, having two English degrees allows me to have immense existential crises without there being a global shutdown, but now, given certain circumstances, I’m more inclined to ponder on what variation of The Hunger Games this world will be in a few months. And this morning, I was laid off from my job (temporarily of course, but do I even want to go back?) so I needed to make some changes around here. What can I do to be productive while the world continues to burn, toilet paper disappears, and Patreon and Pornhub memberships skyrocket, I figured why not do what every dumb millennial is doing and start a newsletter?
So to start the A Trust Fund off on the right foot, let’s all ponder a question together: Am I an asshole? I’ve wondered this question for a while—am I an asshole?—because, and this is a secret so shhh—I have a trust fund…
The way I still ask this question almost on the daily. I’m currently in the predicament of pulling out of the PhD program and, because I don’t want to get into it now I’ll keep this brief, it just wasn’t what I thought it was going to be and in many ways my privilege has allowed me to see that I do have options and I don’t have to settle for scraps and yeah, I still wonder if I’m an asshole for that lolol.
Last Piece Excerpt + Thoughts:
Geriatric Concert-Goer (from June 13, 2023)
This year specifically, but really since the start of Post-Covid, I have been observant of my ~aging~. I turned 29 recently; that penultimate year before yet another decade has passed without warning, without consent. I’m conscious of how my body reacts to certain food or drinks, or situations and experiences. I’ve learned to notice the internal signs of struggle and subtle cries for help, that were really always there but mostly misunderstood and silenced. I’m coming to terms with being able to not do things as I once could, and part of that is concert-going.
This week, we’re chatting about concerts, culminating the week with a discussion on our dream music festival, and lucky for me I was just at two, almost back-to-back.
On Friday, Zack and I saw my favorite band, All Time Low, here in Columbus. The other two bands on the docket: Games We Play and Mayday Parade—the first, I had only one song saved and they’re relatively new on the “scene” (whatever that even means these days), but Mayday Parade is definitely a throwback to Warped Tour 2009 and was among the bands I listened to repeatedly in my tumultuous youth.
Then, on Sunday, Zack and I saw his favorite band, The Cure, outside of Cleveland. They only had one opener, named The Twilight Sad, from Scotland and they were…fine? Weird? An opener? Who cares about the opener when you’re there to see The Cure, right? …
Technically, my last solo piece would have been Leo’s New Suns, but I figured it would make sense to exclude those, so moving back to our Concert Theme Week from June. Guys, the way Zack was talking (either yesterday or even earlier today) about seeing a band (already forgot who) and how they have standing room AND seated ticket options—he’s listening! I still love concerts (and we’re getting married in a concert venue), but I definitely need to recognize my limits and when I need to adapt. Also, I feel like I sound the exact same lol both pieces aren’t trivial, but they definitely are not good either. This serves as the epitome of solo-writing for OTF—an online, shitshow yet wholesome diary for one’s brain that is then published on the internet for every single person ever and forever to see. Gotta love it.
Shit We’re Loving: EXPERIENCE
Our Pick: Our Trust Fund Substack landing page + Archive Spreadsheet
At this moment I have no reason nor see any reason to take OTF down. She will remain in stasis indefinitely, but certainly still accessible for those good hits of nostalgia we may often crave. You can always access OTF via our Substack page:
This does have an “Archive” section, but it’s an endless doom scrolling so I created a spreadsheet with every post ever. It does, admittedly, need updating with the past few months worth of posts, but those are easily found with a quicker scroll through the site. This spreadsheet is for the deep cuts, theme week breakdowns, and those few and rare new voices.
Show Your Support: Global Girl Media
For our final OTF Show Your Support, I’ve chosen Global Girl Media (GGM), which develops the voice and media literacy of teenage girls and young women, ages 14-25, in under-served communities by teaching them to create and share digital journalism designed to improve scholastic achievement, ignite community activism and spark social change.
We change the storytellers so they can change the world.
Global Girl Media empowers young women to bring their often-overlooked perspectives onto the global media stage. By turning up the volume of girls’ voices globally, GGM promotes freedom of expression and strengthens substantive journalism that addresses historically marginalized voices. We do this while also building self-esteem, leadership capacity, and 21st-century skills. Founded in 2010, we are currently active in South Africa, Kosovo, Chicago, Los Angeles, Greece, London, and the Bay Area.
You can’t be what you can’t see. Our media tells us a lot about who we are and the stories we believe about ourselves. Yet, a female POV is under-published, under-broadcast, and under-streamed compared to a male POV. Now more than ever, women and girls of color need a place at the table to change the narrative. That’s where GGM comes in.
In the OTF fashion, we have already donated $200 to Global Girl Media and we encourage you to give and/or promote what you can.
Daily Intention:
Today I choose…
REMINISCING
Here’s some nifty buttons for you to press, enjoy: